Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Letters From Travels: Still Not Dead

Good news, guerrillas still have not carried me off to hold me for a ransom, tried to cut my hands off, or even robbed, and then viciously beat me. The worst I've dealt with here in Nicaragua was some woman not having enough change to change an American twenty. Ah how I love the 17 to 1 exchange rate.

The locals here are suspiciously nice. I can barely talk to them but I've still been invited surfing (tomorrow hopefully) by one of them, offered a tour to a cool place for a photo op by another, and bought the equivalent of melted otter pops from another (which taste way better than the straight chemical stuff in the States). I included the otter pop thing for T. If you don't know what an otter pop is, well your life is probably an empty void of nothingness spiraling down a black well of insignificance, but nobody's perfect.

My Spanish lessons are going so-so. I think both me and my teacher are sick of them. 4 hours in one sitting is not the way to take a class. Speaking of which, UNM decided that although I have proof of military service, I don't have enough proof of enough military service. The "defending your country for 7 months" line didn't work either. I'm going to try crying next.

For those of you who are wondering when Ez is meeting me, well I wish I knew. He left today, and since he's traveling the way I did, it could be a while (don't tell him, I don't think he knows how ridiculously far it is).

Also, in my down time (oh wait, that's all day) I decided to come up with my own political party. I'll be running for president on it in 2008. Here's a peek at some of my plans: Bush's old "No Child Left Behind" policy will be slightly altered and become the "Dumb Children Left Behind" policy. As for abortion, it will remain legal but under the condition that any woman undergoing the procedure will be required to wear a giant A on her chest for the rest of her life. The color of the A will be standardized, I'm thinking about a shade of red, possibly scarlet. So remember in 2008 - Size Does Matter, vote Pocket Lint.

El Pocket Lint

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