Letters From Iraq: Subject Line?

Hello. Welcome back to the next installment of Pocket Lint: Portrait of a guy stuck in the Middle East.

We finally got a day off. I looked up the word pneumatic, but I still don't know what it means. That's all I accomplished in the last 15 hours. Don't worry though, I get paid less than minimum wage.

I was sick for a couple days. Apparently when they said "Don't drink the water" they didn't mean "If you run out of bottled water feel free to drink the tap water instead of walking 100 yards to get another bottle." I don't know why they didn't make that clearer.

Anyone who thinks that all of Iraq is an empty wastleland is actually quite incorrect. Yesterday I think I actually saw a tree. It might have been a destroyed car, I couldn't really tell, the 2 miles of dirt in between me and it obscured it a little.

Anyway, bye.

El Pocket Lint

Letters From Iraq: Yo

Hey hey! We've been pretty busy out here lately. Rolled up some bad guys throughout the month and hopefully made a difference. Kind of beat right now though. I'd love a day off. Maybe if all of you people stop paying your taxes they couldn't send us out. Seems like a solid enough plan.

So same old same old. Still in the same area. Westernish Iraq. Hope to invade Iran, Syria and Korea soon. One step at a time I guess.

El Pocket Lint

Letters From Iraq: On the List

Hello, It's been awhile since I wrote to people. I added a few of you to my list because I finally got your addresses.

If you watch the news I'm sure you've heard a lot about Operation Matador. I can't really say too much about it but I wasn't directly involved, so don't worry. We've been doing well here, staying busy and stuff but I can't talk about it. So basically to recap, I know a bunch that you guys don't,
but the only thing I can tell you is that I can't tell you anything. Man, these emails must get more and more fascinating. I really have a very short amount of time right now so I didn't respond to anyones personal emails. I hope you understand. Yeah, especially you... you know who I'm talking to. You'll rue the day.

Anyway, hi to everyone and don't forget the old saying... Oh wait I can't tell you that either.

El Pocket Lint