Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Letters From Iraq: Advice on Vacationing


I'm super tired today because the air conditioning in my room went out and I couldn't sleep all day. On top of that my roommate who apparently "isn't much of a sleeper" decided walking around for hours and eating super crunchy cereal was a terrific idea.

Anyway, someone asked me, since I've been here for 5 months, are there any parts of Iraq to avoid while on vacation? That's easy. All of it. Even if everything calms down and one wanted to see the hundreds of cultural sites here, I would really discourage it. I mean, who really needs to see a country who's major exports and sand, dirt, and sandy dirt?

Later then,

El Pocket Lint

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Letters From Iraq: Hi Again


I'm doing good still. A little hungry right now. Should have taken a sandwich for later. Definitely regreting it. I swear I spend half my life sitting in front of computer screen either waiting for something to load or trying to figure out what I'm going to make up to tell people back home about.

Iraq is getting nice this time of year. That bush I was talking about a long time ago, the only one here, I think it spontaneously erupted in flame today. If Iraq had as many butterflies and rainbows as it does acres of dirt and clouds of dust everything would be jolly. Clearly Allah is just
lazier than the other gods. I can just see him sitting on his cloud watching the Sopranos instead of producing some rain or a little grass. Bastard.

Anyway. Hi again.

El Pocket Lint

Friday, June 10, 2005

Letters From Iraq: I Wish I Was a Fish

Wow, another exciting week in the middle east. Ummm.... I ate a sandwich a little while ago. It was delicious. Let's see. I saw an intersting bird a couple of days ago. Now, I don't want to say there's nothing going on here but man, that bird was craaaa-zy.

So. I've been following the Michael Jackson trial. I think I'm one of about, I don't know, five people that is. As long as he gets even a couple of days in prison he's done for. It'll be hilarious. Actually, I take that back, I'm sure the pasty white effeminate popstar (who's supposed to be
black isn't he?) will do fine in prison with rapists and murderers. Like I said, hilarious.

Apparently we're invading China, Korea, Iran, Syria and being pushed to interfere more directly (I prefer the word meddle) in Africa. That's ok though, we've got plenty of troops for all those campains, right? We don't? Well call up the reserves then, that's what they're there for. We have? Oh, well, then call up people who's contracts have already expired. They're probably not busy. We've done that too? Hey guys, who's thinking what I'm thinking? If it starts with a "D" and ends with "raft all military-aged citizens of either gender" you're probably right!

Anyway, just something to think about (namely those of you who are ages 18-35, and for the most part not the President's family).

Que Viva Iraq,

El Pocket Lint