Thursday, August 16, 2007

Letters From Iraq: Lasagna Day

Hi everyone. I'm still here in case you were wondering. I was prevented from writing to you all because of an impenetrable force I call "laziness." We've been less than active the past couple of months.

The most rewarding thing we've done was round up an entire town and ask them if they were terrorists. Apparently over a dozen of them said yes, further raising my suspicions about what our interpreters are actually saying to these people. Basically we went house to house and escorted the men to the school. At the first few houses we would walk in and I would say "America's here; we reek of freedom" because I thought it was funny. Sitting here in my air-conditioned room, I feel like the humor of that line was probably exaggerated by wearing 60 pounds of useless gear in a 120 degree heat.

On the plus side we've started packing up some of our gear to go home. I don't feel like it's my place to point out that we're going to be here for at least another month. I'm sure they have some bigger, grander scheme that I don't understand. That last sentence would be perfect for the new font I'm working on: "Times Sarcastic Roman."

Another thing that went well today was dinner. It was lasagna day. Every day should be lasagna day.

Oh! Here's something fun that has angered "he who is called Pocket Lint." Recently they put up signs that stated our allotted shower times. Apparently the base is going through some sort of water shortage and someone thought the problem could be remedied by demanding that people take showers at certain times during the day. Which would apparently decrease the amount of showers people take, I guess. Although, honestly I don't see how that would affect how many showers people take. Later that day I took the sign down. I still have it. I'm going to put it up in my house when I get home and tell my roommates that water conservation is in effect, Marine Corps style. The most ridiculous thing about this is that the base is still operating it's pool. I'm going to submit a plan that puts a couple of fountains on each camp inside the base, and to offset the water usage we'll set toilet hours.

But I'm definitely not angry about it. Because today was lasagna day. Lasagna day is always a good day.

El Pocket Lint